I coloured?

The following is a poem by an African. It was nominated as the best poem of year 2005.

When I born, I black

When I grow up, I black

When I go in sun, I black

When I scared, I black

When I cold, I black

When I sick, I black

When I ill, I black

When I die, I still black

And you white fellow

When you born, you pink
When you grow, you white
When you go in sun, you red
When you scared, you yellow
When you cold, you blue
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you grey.

And you call me coloured? Who is it Now?

What is so striking in this poem? Surely, neither grammar nor language. Then WHAT makes it so hard-hitting is a question i ask...

Cant think of a heading

Well... i really really cant think of a heading!!

So if you are expecting a quality post or anything close to it...i suggest, close this window. Because this post is going to be messy. Im just typing whatever's on my mind and thats a relieving act for me and a very dangerous one for the reader.

Well having cautioned you... even if you have started reading this entry then im sure after reading the pointlessness of the first para, you could have made a decision to go ahead reading or not.

Okay! so back to my pointless point, my mind is swarming with stuff to pen on and its all a big mess in my head, hence this post :D Im just not able to arrange all my thoughts to make perfect sense, so i decided to give up thinking and start typing... and that really feels a hell lot easier !

I went for a long evening walk today, after ages with a close friend whom i've met after ages and i feel ecstatic! Maybe its because we could get to talk after so long, about old friends, school, teachers, writing, college... or maybe its because i finally got to go out of home today and explore our little Awali! Well, we have gone for long walks before also and each time we explore the same Awali, there's something new about it... the roads, the park are all the same but time always does its little magic!

This time I had in my mind to read th Fountainhead and was pretty disappointed when i didnt find that book in the library. Then i went in search of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari and that too was unavailable! i was majorly disappointed. And as usual i filled up a request form to get The Fountainhead as soon as possible. Nevertheless, the librarian told me that it will take atleast 2 months as it has to be booked oversees. I sighed! Went back to the shelves, and as i was browsing through the books, I found In Custody by Anita Desai. Well, i remember i had filled a form for In Custody last summer. And there it was... quite many had issued it. I felt elated! Brought it home and started reading and what a bore... I never feel tired of books but i dont know what happened with that particular book... i tried reading it 3 times but couldnt proceed. It was so slow! And i cant believe that i had placed an order for that book last year! But now im happy cause im happily settled with We, The Living by Ayn Rand. I've just started reading it and it is unputdownable! Hoping to write a review soon.

Talking of something really provoking...Orkut! You will laugh im sure. Recently, i ran into a few of my long lost friends' profiles. From there profiles i couldnt make out that they used to be my friends someday! I was thoroughly awed! I sometimes wonder what time does to us... A lapse of maybe 6 or 7years changes us so completely. Recently, when one of my long lost friends told me that she got commited 3 years ago...i could only stare! Her vivid memories flashed in my mind... she was just not the type! She used to be so nonchalant each time the mere topic of "Going out" used to come up. This got me thinking whether i have changed...whether my friends would say the same thing seeing my profile... But everyone feels that only he/she hasnt changed with time... maybe even i satisfy myself with the same explanation.

And my most recent adventure...COOKING... naaahh i think it deserves an entire post!!!

Maybe this entry was really messy and pointless but i console myself saying its fine to be pointless sometimes!
Maybe i should put a fullstop now!
signing off
Beautiful Mind

Lackadaisical Me !

music, crosswords, In Custody, Orkut, photographs, blogging, comments, photoshop, timeless sleep, food, meditation, sister, news, day-dream...

wanderer, whimsical, eccentric, jobless, irritation, silent, pensive, preoccupied, sober, reflective, matter-of-fact, prosaic, mundane, wistful...

but not always :)

It all started with Youth Curry!

Three months back in college, for my department's symposium, we had the popular JAM editor, Rashmi Bansal coming over as a guest speaker for infotainment. Amidst technical gyan, paper presentations, tech-quizes, robotics workshops and all other techy techy stuff, an hour on blogging by rashmi bansal sounded like a heavenly pleasure! For one, i was happy to treat my ears with something totally "non-tech" and two, i am a blog addict!
Well, i thought i was a blog addict and had the bloggers disease generally known as "blogmania" until this particular day. It was pretty disheartening by all means. After her interesting discourse, she wanted to see a few of our blogs. Many showed, she commented, questioned and was answered. I didnt intend to show mine... but thanks to the audience! Shouted Poori so loudly that i didnt have a choice but to walk up the dice and show her my fateful blog. My last post that time was, A thousand splendid suns.
"Book review is it", she asked
"Not a review, just a personal write-up.", i answered.
she scrolled a bit... i dont think she liked my blog.
Anyway, she went on, "3rd jan, 2008, your last update? you dont blog regularly?"
"I dont get time in college actually. I generally blog during holidays."
"Then what are you so busy with?", she asked with a teasing smile which almost conveyed, boyfriend, is it?
I almost wanted to blare out that it wasnt what she was thinking but one look at my HOD and i kept quite.
"College life, pretty hectic." thats all i could say.
"You know what, you dont have to blog, if you dont want to. Its totally your choice. But if you choose to blog, then you must update regularly."
I wanted to shout, "I love blogging... its just the time that i dont have and also internet!!!" But how could I with HOD sitting in the first row. So i silently walked down, but my mind was still revolting.
Till now, those words ring in my head and i feel as if someone is trying to push a dagger through my thought hub each time i recall THAT DAY. I feel helpless and hopeless! Such a thing happened today also. But today is different from other days. I had time today. So, i quitely sat down and looked through, Youth Curry (Rashmi's blog). Read articles, comments, and then the blogroll... went on and on... It was like an eye opener. I saw a variety of blogs by writers, analysts, economists, professionals and ametuers, students and elders... and a spectrum of topics so beautifully and effectively portrayed!
And finally i learnt my lesson, one thing that each of the bloggers had in common was that they updated pretty regularly. And then i realised how dumb i was to veil my discrepancies with a the most easy excuse called TIME. If all such bigshots with a high yielding career and a family life can find time to blog, then where do i stand? Oh my god!!! i dont even want to think about it.
Here are a few links to a few nice ones i visited today...

Youth Curry, http://youthcurry.blogspot.com/
The renegade of junk, http://curiousgawker.blogspot.com/
Domain Maximus, http://sidin.blogspot.com/
A time to reflect, http://www.indsight.org/blog/
and ofcourse... you can link and link and unravel a lot many purposeful insightful blogs.

Laws Of Success

The greatest mistake - Giving up

The greatest crippler - Fear

The greatest handicap - Ego

The most potent force - Positive

The greatest thought - God

The greatest victory - Victory over the self

DELAYED!

UL 201 Doha via Bahrain delay until 11:30 pm flashed on the screens. For a moment, my mind went blank. i looked at my watch, 3:30 pm... 8 hrs more, what will i do in this alien airport. I took time to recover from what i just saw... meanwhile there was a big commotion around, some enquiring, some regretting and some hopelessly appalled like me. A plethora of thoughts filled my mind and a paucity of advice made me feel so vulnerable. Finally, after i had quite recovered from the shock, i went to the information desk and found out that the delay was because of an operational problem and that Sri Lankan air would be providing dinner for all the passengers. I went to a booth and called my parents. They were shaken. I could feel how my parents tried not to sound worried before me. Its not like i hadnt traveled alone before... I had since a very small age but never did i face such problems. Moverover, there's unrest in Sri Lanka, there was a blast some time back... that multipied my parents anxiety and also mine though i tried not to think about it.
The lady at the counter asked, "What currency would you like to pay in ma'am?"
I asked whether they accepted rupees to which she said no. I finally agreed to pay in dollars.
"$4 ma'am", she said.
Another stare. My mind was rapidly calculating... just 4 mins, $4? 4*40= Rs 160! WHAT THE HELL !
"If im not mistaken, i just spoke for 4 mins, are you sure its 4 dollars?", i said.
She gave an understanding smile, "Yes ma'am, rates in airport are high."
That even i knew but i didnt know that the prices were quadrupled! anyway, i didnt argue.
I collected my token for food, roamed around a bit in the duty free and then finally settled down in a place where i saw a few co-passengers. I opened the Sunday's issue of The Hindu to solve the Sunday crosswords. I had just started doing crosswords in the daily Hindu papers and had found it tremendously interesting. But i had never tried the one on Sunday's issue so i thought carrying it for the flight would be a good idea. But it was not for i didnt have the dictionary nor the patience nor the mood and nor Jovie, who used to sit with me everyday in the mess table and help me with crosswords! What a waste! Still i tried for an hour... got just 2 answers... and finally getting bored, I gave up.
I think i felt hungry. It was just 5:30pm and dinner would be open only at 8:00 pm. Trying to find occupation, i got up, walked around until i spotted a food store. I picked up my favourite choco chip Hide and Seek biscuit and asked for the price.
"$2 ma'am", he said.
Another stare.
"WHAT?"
"I say, $2 ma'am."
Now i was pissed. I wasn't ready to take this anymore. I shouted at the poor fellow. I showed him the price tag which had the price in INR, converted it in dollars and then asked how was he justified to ask for 2 dollars! That guy was taken aback... he meekly said, "Ma'am its different in airports."
I gave him one rude stare and left... went back to my seat which i had abandoned some time back. But what to do... i was hungry... severely hungry... and was foolish enough not to keep any food in my hand lugguage. So finally defeated, i went back to that cold store and asked the guy whether there was anything for one dollar. He was very polite, showed me what all was available. I felt very bad. I shouldnt have lost my temper like that. After all its not his fault that the prices are unreasonably high. I picked up ginger biscuits, paid a dollar and went back.
After i had spent a generous amount of time having biscuits, walking around, discerning the environment around, people, their style and pondered enough, i was still left with 5 odd hrs!!! God!!! I never knew time ran so slow. I reluctantly opened my laptop, after 2 failed attempts to connect to the net, I gave up. I started reading an e-book. That was one thing i enjoyed doing in that alien airport where everything was so unreasonable! Didnt realise how time passed by until i saw the low battery warning. Damn. Now what! I reduced the brightness of the screen but soon it was time to close. For a moment i actually wished that there was wireless power to charge up laptops... but the idea seemed stupid. I quitely shut it down.
Now what to do? I was stupid enough to pack up The Midnight's Children in my main lugguage. Me the over prudent fool was scared of being in trouble if someone saw me reading the controversial Rushdie in the airport. SIGH!

PS:Those hours seemed to be the longest hours of my life.But as all unpleasant things come to an end... they upgraded me and a few others to Bussines class... i still couldnt find a suitable explanation for this altruistic act! I think i was just too shocked! I had too much for a day!
Finally being back home... all the discomfort, anxieties and the pleasures of bussines class were soon forgotten. All i felt was an eternal bliss to be back home :D

Adios
beautiful mind